It was a challenge to learn and complete the many tasks necessary to write, edit, rewrite (many times), then publish my book. Writing the book was often difficult, but I thought that next part of blogging and social media posts would be easier! Not so.
Creating an online business involves new learning and challenges that I often choose to leave for another day; the way I sometimes left my homework to the last minute when I was in high school! While I have struggled with the “to do” lists, my emotions have gone up and down.
Several times I decided, “I am done! It’s all too hard and I don’t care if no one reads it!”
It was particularly bad one day when I suddenly felt like a fraud. What did I know that could help other people? What if people hated it? Or maybe worse, what if they loved it and I couldn’t keep up with the orders?! My headache kept me home all day feeling sorry for myself.
A couple of days later, I attended a women’s conference at our church that was billed as “Flourish”! Even though I felt tired, I knew I needed to go. During the sessions, I began to feel as if some hard things in my heart were being blasted loose, like an iceberg breaking up. I was seeing places where I have been critical of others, had pride in my accomplishments, and most of all I was aware of fear.
This was one of those times when I realized that I needed to find a new perspective on my life. I needed to find a new purpose for why I was doing this work and to pay attention to those things that were holding me back.
Brené Brown has a video called “The Call to Courage” where she talks about the connection between courage and vulnerability. Sometimes I don’t feel very brave, but I am sharing myself in this book which makes me feel vulnerable. I know with God’s help I can learn to keep trying even in those difficult times when quitting seems so appealing.
Have you ever felt this way? Do you have a dream that you haven’t gone after because it feels too scary? Have you stopped letting yourself imagine that life could be better? I think we have all been there. You are not alone. My hope is you can begin to ‘flourish’ despite the challenges you face. Maybe you can ask yourself if you are letting any attitudes or habits cause you to feel like a fraud and make the decision to be brave.
Order my book, Flourish in a World Full of People for more insights on changing your perspective by using this link. https://linktr.ee/spencelayhmarnie
One thought on “Do you ever feel like a fraud?”
I really enjoyed this post. You chose to shine light into a dark corner. Fear, fear of failure, add fear of feeling like a fraud and then not even trying. Thank you Marnie for sharing..
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